Tuesday, December 30, 2008

an open letter to 2008

Well, I've known you almost a whole year now (tomorrow marking our anniversary) and I'm ready to move on. You've given me heartache, tears (both sad and happy), headaches a plenty and many many wonderful memories.

Although I wouldn't say I hate you, I would say I'm glad to see us moving on. 2009 promises to be nothing but roses comparatively, at least that’s what I’ve already been set up for.

I can't say that our time was all bad this year, I got to travel across the map with some of my good friends; I took many pictures, and made new friends that I’ll never forget. You also brought many happy times to those I care about most… engagements, weddings, wealth, love in all forms and probably the most important, life (continuing and starting).

I thank you for all ups and certainly for all the downs, because without them, I wouldn’t continue to grow and learn what I can withstand and what I undoubtedly don’t want to go through again.

In the last few months you’ve been very kind, as if you were making up for the first part of the year… I’ve got to hand it to you; the apartment was by far my favorite part. I finally feel as though I’m a grown up, or at least getting there.

Thanks again for a year full of interesting times; I’ll try to use what I’ve learned from you to go forward into 2009 with my head firmly placed on my shoulders and my heart ready for new adventures.

Best of luck to you, 2008,
Please don’t contact me again, for this is my goodbye to you.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

how can one be on the verge of breaking down

just teeter over the edge and make the plunge.

holidays, sweet holidays.. when people become up in arms in the most endearing way. I cannot wait for this week to be over. My frustration threshold has been exceeded and all I feel like doing is throwing in the towel or at least a washcloth.

I've found the best thing in my life is shuffling into my apartment, slipping my shoes off, curling into a blanket on the couch and drifting off to sleep in the early evening for the littlest of naps.

my hot coco becomes cold too quickly and the same old saga of what would fill me up for lunch has become a problem. today I'll go with an old stand by.

I wondering, do I need Internet access at home? because as of right now I have to sit in the appropriate corners of them room to access my main homepage.. the daily puppy. i just know that I find it to be ridiculous to pay so much money for something I can use at work for free.. too bad my photos can't upload on their own bandwidth once I take them. someone get on that.

today I feel stressed and that intern makes me feel crazy.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

slight of hand.. tricky mind

my feet keep moving yet I stay exactly where I started. Even though things keep moving up in life, it seems I can't keep from sliding backwards.

the voids felt in my new living space are slowly being filled with newly saved pieces of wood that once were someone elses. but who can beat free? the kitchen fills fuller and my bedroom has one less box. leaving me currently with 1 1/2 boxes to go. hopefully soon enough I'll be able to live my life fully, box free.

the holiday season has engulfed every part of my life. twinkling lights, green and red tinted everything, candy cane lanes and holiday parties are in my very future. and I don't know if you could say I'm happy about it. The stressful thoughts of what to get who or who to get what, keeps me from falling directly to sleep. The nagging notion that the money tree just might not bloom really keeps me from purchasing anything currently, hoping that I can stretch out the last few days before the deadline of dec 19th and dec 25th.

the lonliest of seasons always seems more lonely the older you become..
but at least I only feel slightly abnormal, just a little crazy.